Human memories are too vague. Thinking something has color when it doesn't, making things more dramatic than they really are, glorifying things... It gives new greater meaning than was actually there. That's why I don't believe any of this talk about "beautiful memories".

I just don't feel like I know myself very well right now, so how can I be sure about anything? Most of the time I feel so awkward, you know, like I don't belong in my own skin, I get frustrated at everything, I could just scream and there's no reason for it, I just hate myself.

You know sometimes, like when someone dies, and you're sad, and it's ok to be sad?

But then there are times when you're supposed to be happy but you're sad anyway...and those times are even worse than the times when you're supposed to be sad.

Is there an indelible line dividing sanity from insanity, or do they change one into the other at the slightest turn of events?
You'll find out soon enough that the world itself is insane

I'm not saying I have nothing. I'm not saying I'm gone completely.

It's just sometimes it's all a bit too much to handle.

Sometimes I feel like it's too much.

I'm not going to do anything stupid because I know it will get better, it has to right?

Otherwise there wouldn't be anyone who would live past their years. But for now, just for now, it hurts.

I'm still not ready to move on. It's sort of like what you were saying how on the one hand, expectations can inspire you, but, then again, they can really let you down. I'm not ready to be let down quite yet. But I still have hope, that one day, I'll take a chance again, in the horrible face of expectation. And it'll be worth it.

I don't know if you've ever felt like that.

That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years, or just not exist, or just not be aware that you do exist, or something like that.

I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this.

That's why I'm trying not to think.
I just want it all to stop spinning

They say there's no such place... as Paradise. Even if you search to the ends of the Earth, there's nothing there. No matter how far you walk, it's always the same road. It just goes on and on. But, in spite of that... Why am I so driven to find it? A voice calls to me... It says, "Search for Paradise."

Let's be honest.
There's nothing great about the real world, is there?
It's just dull and annoying as hell.
No one accepts that's the way things are...
They're just stuck with it because they can't deny it, either.
Those who actually succeed in life...
They just happen to be born with the magic ticket called "talent."
If you don't have it, you can either accept or deny that fact until you die.
That's your only choice.
Once you realize that, all you have left in life is despair.
The ultimate game over.

Humans cannot reject temptation.
When they are plunged into the depths of despair, likened to hell,
they will hold on to anything that may help them escape from the situation they are in, even if it's merely a spider's thread, no matter what sort of humans they are.

Destiny?

What would i know of destiny?

If a fish lives its whole life in this river, does he know the river's destiny?

No! Only that it runs on and on out of his control.

He may follow where it flows, but he cannot see the end. He cannot imagine the ocean.

To wish for your own happiness is sometimes coupled with another's unhappiness.
Since I couldn't pray for my own happiness,
I prayed to the moon in the night sky for the happiness of the one whose warm hand I held.

I wonder... isn't it that when you become an adult,

you have freedom to explore such a large world.

I wonder why is it I feel that the world is so constricted at this moment.

"Being thrown away by humans, devoted to them even though you aren't one of them... and once they are finished with you, they have you end your life yourself... and not even an ounce of gratitude for all that. On the contrary: for your whole life you are hated and reviled. It really is idiotic. We are different after all. Once you start seeing things that way, it all becomes very easy to accept. Do humans shed tears for the birds, pigs, cows and sheep that become their food? Of course they don't. They are a different species after all. That is nature. That is the truth. That is Providence. Your way of thinking up to now was the warped one."

Those who make mistakes blame themselves and close their hearts.

It's impossible to fix the mistake.

Men can't return to the past.

That's why they drink.

Lushes, drunks, sliding alcohol down their throats to try to dilute the memories that can't be forgotten.

Does nothing but drink, and questions the glass after it's empty.

"Am I wrong? Was I wrong?"

We should be taught never to shed tears.

For to shed tears means that the body has been defeated by emotion.

And, to us, that simple act of crying proves,

without question,

that the existence of emotion is nothing but a burden.

I wonder how you're suppose to give up...
Do I just decide to give up and act accordingly?
And move further and further away from what my heart really wants?
Then will I forget everything one day?..
Everything including the pain in my heart?
Everything?
Without a trace as if nothing was there to begin with?

True despair is having lost all those who love you,
lost all those whom you loved,
and having no one to love.
True despair is having lost everything you held dear to you.
True despair is when you have lost all hope
and any reason to fight back has abandoned you.

The path never taken,

the dreams never achieved,

a heart that has never known love by another,

a life of loneliness and despair.

it is the path that some have to walk in this life and this world.

this is the way the world is,

A world that will never accept those that are different...

a world that i find it hard to integrate to...

If you could go back and save them, would you?

If you could spare them such pain, would you?

If you could change what happened, would you?

One day in the summer, when the warm sunlight pierced the transparent breeze, you disappeared without a trace. I know we will never meet again under the blue sky and, yet there you are still smiling out at me from somewhere deep within the shining screen

Life is like an incessant series of problems,
all difficult,
with brutal choices,
and a time limit.
The worst thing you can do is to make no choice,
waiting for the ideal conclusion to present itself

It is not the strongest of the species that survives,

nor the most intelligent,

but the one most responsive to change.

– Charles Darwin

A dream.... I'm looking at a dream....
A dream I see everyday... an endless dream...
The day the dream didn't end, when was it?
Was it a long time ago or was it just few minutes ago?
The answer to it must lie in the dream...
in the time you didn't realize that if it's passing,
you just only wait

Skeptismist

I'm tired of being made the scapegoat in life.
I feel like I’m being persecuted at every possible moment.
Even if a kitty comes up to me I’m suspicious of it’s motives.
I know it’s just there to make a fool out of me

The Girl : You know why the sky is blue?
The Guy : Because the reflection from the sunshine causes...
The Girl : Wrong! It's to make me happy. I wanted it to be blue, so it's blue. You know why fire is hot? It's all for me. I wanted it to be hot, so it's hot. You know why we have four seasons here in the world?
The Guy : For you?
The Girl : Correct.

I've been wondering..
There must be a purpose for people being born into this world.
Why are we here?
What does it mean?
I've been thinking about a lot lately.
I realized that finding our purpose IS the meaning.
Everyone is given life for a reason.
Everyone has something important to accomplish is the freedom God has given us humans.
The quest to discover what that is...
is the reason why we're here.
And the ones who find it..
They're the only ones who are truly free.

If I were to live out life without any mistakes that would be great.
But... there is no such path.
Falling,
tripping,
losing the way,
making mistakes, l
ittle by little,
walking one step at a time,
this is the only way to live out life....