I have always shook with fright before human beings.
Unable as I was to feel the least particle of confidence in my ability to speak and act like a human being,
I kept my solitary agonies locked in my chest.
I kept my melancholy and my agitation hidden,
careful lest any trace should be left exposed.
I feigned an innocent optimism;
I gradually perfected myself in the role of the farcical eccentric
I don't know if I can stand it....
I’ve lost too many people I love to things beyond their control.....
I don’t know if I’d be able to handle knowing someone I care about had died due to something again....
My heart can’t take it.....
I don’t want to give up but I might have to soon....